Farmer Audrey

I've been thinking a lot about goals, motivation, and what I want to do lately. 

The answer is: I don't know. 

Coming from a family that is so successful is hard when you aren't sure what success will look like for yourself. I'm beginning to think I need to define success in many other ways. 

Success is having a kick as marriage. 
Success is ensuring that our family has what it needs, and the space to have freedom to follow our passions. 
Success is living a happy and healthy life. 

When I think about this list, the concept of success seems more simple. Success is attainable, and I am more or less successful. So how does it go up from here?

I think the big key is freedom. We are living in the rat-race that is DC Metro. We want to travel and pursue other hobbies that are expensive. We want to be able to have a garden and space for the dogs to run around. Living in a city where land is at a premium and rent and/or mortgage payments are sky high cuts back on some of that freedom. 

So where do we go from here?

Maybe to the farm. 

Looking at cost of living calculators, we could make 40,000 less than we do in DC and have a comparatively similar standard of living in the middle of nowhere land where my family comes from. It's close enough to a bigger city to get us to culture on weekends.  If we both got jobs I'm guessing the pay cut we take would be closer to 20,000. The place we'd live would be no more than 250/month maybe 500/month if we fix up the place.  There would be space for the dogs to run around. There would be more than enough space for a garden. And we could even keep chickens and/or bees. 

It's a crazy idea, but if cost of living calculators are correct and comparable jobs exist that would mean a bunch of additional income to pursue our passions. 

And I have other farm related dreams and goals.. I'll dream more about those another time. I've got a date tonight. :-) 

Almost 30

So. In about 10 days, I'll be 30.

There are a few options here.
1) Freak out and cry. No thanks. I'd rather not. Life is pretty awesome, and I have no regrets so why not celebrate? Since I'm celebrating....

2) I could go out and get WASTED. Um. No. Since nothing can compare to my amazing 20th brithday/80s Dance Party on board the S.S. Universe Explorer I'm not going to try. That, and I'm pretty sure there are better ways of celebrating.

3) I can celebrate thoughtfully, have an amazing dinner with amazing people, and set awesome goals for my 30th year. <- DONE! The dinner is being planned. My husband is amazing and I think has a few things up his sleeve. I have a short list of things I'd like (which includes an amazing meal) And I've reflected on a few things I've done before turning 30.

I was curious about what people do, or think they should do before they turned 30, and I found a list that worked pretty well for me. I checked off a ton on it, but I don't want to think about the things I haven't done. Thirty is not a death sentence. It's an age, and a part of life for those of us who are fortunate enough not to die young.

Since the original list had 150, I figured I'd made my list match that number, and then I added another thing, because I felt like it needed it. Excuse the mixed up verb tenses, the list is made of many lists of things people should do before they are 30, and my own random thoughts.

My random and amazing list of things I've done before I turned 30:


01. Thrown a killer party
02. Swam in the ocean
03. Climbed a mountain
04. Taken my parents out to eat.   
05. Become a mentor
06. Held a tarantula
07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone
08. Said “I love you” and meant it
09. Hugged a tree
10.Open a Retirement Account
11. Visited Paris
12. Watched a lightning storm at sea
13. Stayed up all night long and saw the sun rise
14. Live by yourself
15. Gone to a huge sports game
16. See your favorite band
17. Grown and eaten your own vegetables
18. Go skinny dipping
19. Slept under the stars
20. Changed a baby’s diaper
21. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
22. Watched a meteor shower
23. Gotten drunk on champagne
24. Given more than you can afford to charity
25. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
26. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
27. Had a food fight
28. Took a tango lesson
29. Asked out a stranger
30. Had a snowball fight
31. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can
32.Made my own cheese
33. Seen an eclipse
34. Ridden a roller coaster
35. Had a one night stand
36. Danced like a fool and didn’t care who was looking
37. Adopted an accent for an entire day
38. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment
39. Had two hard drives for your computer
40. Done drugs
41. Taken care of someone who was drunk
42. Had amazing friends
43. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country
44. Do a half ironman
45. Stolen a sign
46. Backpacked in Europe
47. Taken a road-trip
48. Gone rock climbing
49. Taken a midnight walk on the beach
50. Study abroad
51. Visited Ireland
52. Been heartbroken longer than you were actually in love
53. Done something that scares you to death
54. Visited Japan
55. Milked a cow
56. Alphabetized your CDs
57. Pretended to be a superhero
58. Sung karaoke
59. Lounged around in bed all day
60. Played ultimate frisbee
61. Gone scuba diving
62. Kissed in the rain
63. Played in the mud
64. Played in the rain
65. Learn to cook
66. Visited the Great Wall of China
67. Buy an original piece of art
68. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken
69. Toured ancient sites
70. Taken an art class
71. Played board games for more than 6 hours straight
72. Gotten married
73. Been in a movie
74. Crashed a party
75. Find a favorite Dive bar. Become a regular.
76. Gone without food for 5 days
77. Made cookies from scratch
78. Go skiing
79. Cook a holiday meal
80. Get a master’s degree
81. White water rafting
82. Been on a national TV Show
83. Gotten flowers for no reason
84. Performed on stage
85. Been to Las Vegas
86. Stay at a bed and breakfast
87. Start a budget
88. Kissed on the first date
89. Go to a psychic
90. Attended a music festival
91. Gone on a blind date.
92. Buried a loved one
93. Been on a cruise ship
94. Get a job with benefits
95. Known someone performing in a burlesque show
96. Registered as a bone marrow donor
97. Forgiven myself for my mistakes
98. Passed out cold
99. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country
100. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over
101. Adopt a dog
102. Sang loudly in the car, and didn’t stop when you knew someone was looking with the windows open
103. Teach a class
104. Get a speeding ticket
105. Vote
106. Go to Graceland
107. Get promoted
108. Piloted an airplane
109. Touched a stingray
110. Broken someone’s heart
111. Get fired
112. Bid at an auction
113. Broken a bone
114. Gone on an African photo safari
115. Had piercign other than your ears
116. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol
117. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild
118. Ridden a horse
119. Complimented a complete stranger
120. Spoken to a large audience  
121. Been to the Grand Canyon
122. Slept for 30 hours in a 48 hour period
123. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. States (Even-ish)
124. Been serenaded
125. Camped for more than 2 days
126. Eaten kangaroo meat
127. Eaten sushi
128. Had your picture in the newspaper
129. Changed someone’s mind about something you care deeply about
130. Gone back to school
131. Read the bible
132. Touched a cockroach
133. Eaten fried green tomatoes
134. Gone to a Chicago blues bar
135. Selected one “important” author who you missed in school, and read
136. Killed and eaten an animal
137. Skipped all your school reunions
138. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language
139. Started writing a novel
140. Speak at a conference
141. Thought to yourself that you’re living your dream
142. Hold a koala bear
143. Purchased a meal for a hungry person
144. Spent all the money in my checking account
145. Take a trip by myself
146. Dyed your hair
147. Be comfortable with the person you are.
148. Shaved your head
149. Caused a car accident
150. Saved someone’s life
151. Directed a museum (had to throw that in, even if it didn’t work out well at all)




Like I said, no regrets here.

Letting Go

The time has come to let go of things, namely a whole slew of old papers and whatnot that are really not useful to me. It's all jumbled into a few boxes that have been sitting in a corner of one apartment or another as long as I've lived in Northern Virginia.

And now it's time to let it go. In the past such attempts have gone like this: "I can't throw that away! I may need it for...... gradschool! art projects! to remember that I've travelled!"

The new question I ask myself won't be about what that was for when I acquired it. It won't be about my future self using it.

I plan on simply asking myself the questions of so many others who have minimalized. Is this useful? Is this beautiful?

I will measure progress by the ability to actually SEE progress in our living space. Currently the boxes are 'behind' our kitchen table causing a lot of clutter. Ick.  

A New Start

I've not been very good at this blogging thing, but I hope to turn that around. Aside from the wedding, and getting a second job just a few months before the wedding, I've been thinking a lot about living intentionally. Just thinking about living intentionally does not get anyone very far though. It's time for that to change.

Jim and I have made a few goals, but we are slow to take steps to really achieve them. Part of this was a bit of a honeymoon for us. We didn't take a lot seriously for a month after the wedding, which we needed. We did re-arrange the apartment. We relaxed. We found out we both have a bit of an obsession with "How I Met Your Mother" and watched 3 seasons in as many weeks. Didn't I just say I've been thinking about living intentionally? I guess that's enough to wear me out.  

Last weekend we went to Wyoming for a family reunion with my family. While, I don't think you can consider that honeymooning, the trip did give us some time to think about where we might live. We also may have realized that 100% rural is not for us, as romantic as it sounds. (Ok, I knew that, but now I really know that).

So, I'm getting back into posting as a means of accountability. I've thought a lot about life, and where I want to go and think I'm able to break this down into a few themes. Structure has got to be a good thing, right? For this blog I'm hoping for the following:

1) Hold myself accountable as I work towards the goals I share with Jim and a few of my own.

2) Begin to take photos to add to the blog, and do that, regularly. (I think this will help with goals).

3) Use this blog to spur my own professional development. More on that later.

So that's this blog. That's where I am, and a hint at where I am going. I will post more about goals shortly.

Goal 1 for the New Year: $3000 and a Fit Wallet

I'm hoping to accomplish some goals with the New Year. This first is to use this blog more. So for the next few days I'm going to outline a goal for the year each day. 


I originally started the blog to track a debt free year. I did not have a debt free year. In fact, I spent most of the year paying down purchases I had to make with the credit card, then having to make more with the credit card. Bad move. I just paid the thing off- pre-Christmas. Good move. 


With the wedding Jim and I are working on saving. The yearly goal is $3,000 on top of what we already save and on top of any gifts received.  That should be easy. It's 125 each a month. That should also cover air-fare for our year later honeymoon planed for 2013. So that's the big, measurable goal. 


The less measurable goal it to approach money differently. I want to approach it like I approach a race.


Hanging out with my parents is always wonderful. But as I 'grow up' it becomes apparent that my parent's handle money really well, and not just because they make a bunch. They are reasonable, and know how to enjoy things that they treat as indulgences. Their indulgences are not daily things, but things like fishing trips for the family while we are at the beach house. They pace themselves, if you will so they can enjoy what counts. 


I think the race metaphor is good for me, because I can pace myself and manage my race like a pro when I'm in shape. You get in shape, you know what you can do, and you do it, but save enough that those last few minutes of the race you can pick it up, reel people in and fly by them. If you've done a good job you aren't laid up for a week because of your efforts.  Granted, for most of the race people are flying by me, but there are people who set themselves up for me to pass later on by not pacing themselves early on. 


So, while there is a money saving goal for the year, there's also a bigger, more important goal. It's to get in shape, learn to pace myself and enjoy those things that are important and that I remember. That means my indulgences can't be things like a latte in the morning. Really, they shouldn't. That's not an indulgence. It's an expensive habit. A great indulgence is not feeling squeezed when going out to a fancy dinner with J. A great indulgence is surprise airfare to go visit friends and family. A great indulgence is replacing the TV that direly needs replacing. 


Being able to afford and enjoy these indulgences means being able to afford  the other parts of life without hassle. Dogs need to go to the vet. Cars need maintenance and sometimes repair. Emergency funds need funding. 


So this goal is going to work like training for a race season, with a few basic phases. These won't work exactly like a race season. Life is dynamic and there are going to be moments that call for certain behaviors, so while there are steps, they may all be simultaneous. 


Phase 1- Build a base- get the house in order, get into shape and figure out where your limits are and how to push yourself further. It's painful at times and feels like it's taking over your life, but it's mandatory if you're going to run a successful race. I think I have an okay base at this point, but it needs work. Base building should happen as a part of the normal course of things. 


Steps: 
            - Review the budget
            - Determine what is excessive and what is necessary
            - Refine my savings plan


Phase 2- Speed building- For the financial goal this is going to work on getting over obstacles, and learning how to manage the race. It's living, but not indulging. It's determining how to make indulgences easier. What shortcuts are there? 


Steps: 
         - Learn about Travel Hacking
         - Reduce crap. Sell what we can. 
         - Choosing indulgences.  


Phase 3- Race- Live, follow the plan, use my base, remember my speed training, and enjoy the finish. Enjoy what counts. There are times in the race where you are in a pain cave. No surprise. It'll happen. There have been good and bad training days. But there is a time to enjoy it. 


Steps:
        - Be aware of surroundings.
        - Don't use the slightly faster person to pace yourself early on.
        - Enjoy the ride. 




I think in a way my metaphor gets confusing. It happens. There are not really phases in this whole living thing, but I think they all sort of happen, and you just have to choose what phase you're in. For January we are in Phase 1. Saving and recouping. Figuring out what our base is and how we can work on speed. There's not a lot of racing to be done when it's so cold out. 

Bliss

I don't know when.
I don't know where. 
But I do know that I'm getting married, without a doubt, to my most favorite person ever. 


And that makes me very happy. 


Hopefully I will write more about it. 

Writing and Planning

I am so adult. I have an IRA and everything.

I also have to move. I"m pretty much through with my apartment. We are broken up. It's so aggravating. The rent is going up too much for a renewal. So, the plan is... it is.. to move.

Here's the thing about this area. There is no great place. What are we giving up? Location? Outside space?  Laundry? Closets? The ability to pay for race registrations?

I don't know. Hopefully the perfect place shows up on craigslist or some for rent by owner site. In the meantime I want to get ready to move. Reducing the amount of stuff I have, organizing, and dreaming of all the things I want to do with a new place.

My last assignment to myself worked really well. I was finished within 3-4 days. I should have documented. My new assignment to myself will be to remove all the photos from albums that were stuck into the albums so they'd have a place to go. They will be rehoused into an archival box. Extra Credit: Put together 2-3 nice albums with pictures of things people would want to see.

Assignment 2: Sweaters. I need to organize them and weed out a lot. I have a lot of sweaters that I don't wear, but keep because maybe I'll nee it. I need to reduce these to sweaters I wear and that look good on me. It's all about managing the wardrobe. Extra Credit: Get wool-lite and wash some of them.

Due Date: 3 weeks.  July 7.